last night i swallowed liquor and a lighter and this morning i threw up fire

and I am grateful that someone actually received the prize that was promised by all those fairy tails that drugged us and still do me i'm sick lonely no laurel tree just green envy will my number come up eventually like love's some kind of lottery just scratch and see what's underneath it's sorry just one cherry play again get lucky

Crow sways 'FREEDOM'

"I fell asleep next to a lair, and I woke up with a shiner"
"She's in an all girl band, her futon's second hand"

I feel like someone starving in the desert for days, after the hunger and the thirst and the sunburns and all the pain blend together and it's possible to forget exactly why there is so much pain. As if it had always been that way. An then getting a taste of something, say and apple. Suddenly getting hit with the realization of just how much another apple would be appreciated. Or maybe some orange juice or even some Mexican food.

When wounds are deep enough, they never really go away. They simply close up and scar over. Sure they stop hurting, but later on, when you least expect it, when the weather changes or when you're under a lot of stress, they flare up, and you can feel them twinge. Not real pain, but something you can feel. It worries more than hurts.

You get to the next one down the line

I am going away. I feel oddly good about this. Today I am OK. I saw a photo of the Nena. She appeared happy. I am glad that she is happy, but I am not happy because she is happy. I am happy of my own accord. Today, at this moment, I feel OK about not seeing her again. First time that that has happened. It is a good feeling, although fleeting it may be. At piece with the world.

Now it is time to get to work.

I have three little books about a little witch.

I saw a ghost the other night. It was scary, and I ran away.

People need to be needed. All the people I needed learned to not need me at all. They had to. I was never here. Reality is ruining my life :). It's just the way thing apparently are. unfortunately are.
one more day to give my love and repay debts . . .
And Nena will not notice when I am gone. Why should she? She took no notice when I was here.
The future is out there, stubbornly hopeful. There is hope because it will be different, and in being different there is a chance that it will be better.